cringe diagnostic unit help · battle
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cringe battle

Two people, three rounds, one minute each. Neither of you sees the other's draft until the round is over. Lowest average score across all three rounds wins.

buying an invite

An invite costs $0.99 and starts one match. Only the person who buys it pays — the person you invite doesn't spend anything.

  1. Tap "buy an invite" on the battle page. This opens Gumroad in a new tab.
  2. Find the invite key on your receipt. Gumroad emails it and shows it on the confirmation page.
  3. Paste it and hit "start the match". This creates the match and puts you in the host seat.

inviting your opponent

Once the match exists, you'll see an invite link — a short URL like amicringe.lol/b#…. Send it to whoever you're playing. The "share" button uses your phone's native share sheet where available, or copies the link so you can paste it wherever.

The link is the credential — there's no account for your opponent to make. Whoever opens it and readies up takes the guest seat.

the lobby

Both of you need to hit "I'm ready". The sixty-second clock for round one starts the moment the second person readies up — not before.

If whoever opens the invite link readies up and then closes the tab before the round actually starts, their seat opens back up. Anyone else with the link can take it and ready up themselves — you don't need a new invite just because the first person to click it wandered off.

playing a round

  1. Write your post. You have sixty seconds, shown as a countdown.
  2. Lock it in whenever you're ready, or let the clock run out — whatever's in the box when it hits zero is submitted automatically. You are never penalised for typing slowly, only for not writing anything at all.
  3. Wait for the other player. You'll be told once they've locked theirs in, but you never see their text until the round closes for both of you.

reading a round result

Once both drafts are in (or the round times out), both texts and both scores are revealed together. Whoever scored lower is stamped BASED; the other is stamped CRINGE. An exact tie is a draw. Not writing anything scores 100 — the worst possible — so there's no advantage to sitting out a round.

winning the match

After all three rounds, the player with the lower average score across the three wins — not whoever won the most individual rounds. The winner sees "WINNER WINNER CRINGE DINNER"; the other player sees "BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME".

leaving and coming back

Your seat in a match is remembered on your device, so refreshing the page or closing the tab mid-match doesn't lose your place — open the same link again and you'll land back where you left off.

sound

Battle has sound effects for readying up, the round starting, the last ten seconds counting down, the buzzer, and the verdict. Nothing plays until you've clicked something first. There's a toggle in the bottom-left corner of the screen if you'd rather play in silence — your choice is remembered.

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